My Life

Right now im my life things are changing. You CANNOT expect me to know exactly what I want right now. I mean like somethings are ending and other things are beginning, I BARELY know what I am doing at the moment mustless what I want to do for THE REST OF MY LIFE!

Another thing: When I do decide what I want to do, you cant just sit there and put what I want to do down and tell me about how I can't do that. You have to SUPPORT my decisions.

Thats a reason why I havent decided what I want in my life because when I did. You sat there and put it down adn didnt listen to what I was saying and you made your own ideas of what I was saying that had absolutely NOTHING to do with what I said I wanted to do.

Not So Perfect Perfection

I am honestly in love. It's a foreign concept to me but I absolutely love being in love. Nothing is perfect but this is about as perfect as it can be. I mean this guy is amazing. He intrigues me so! All I can do is think about him all day everyday. I feel as if I'm losing my mind because of how much I care for him. It's like somethings have become less important because I have him around. I can talk to him about anything and I hope he knows he can do the same. There has never Been a guy that meant as much to me as he does. Everyday I miss him more and more. I wish I could be around him all the time. As of now I don't want to be with out him. I told my best friend I never want to have to call him my exboyfriend. I don't know if he knows he means this much to me. Our friends tell me a lot of how he feels about me and how they see a change in him for the better and how I help him without even knowing it. I love hearing things from our friends but sometimes I wish it was coming from him, but I'll admit I do the same. I express my feelings to our friends too. I'm so in love with this guy. Everything About him makes me fall for him even more. I know I'm being One Hundred Percent Truthful When I say I Love Him:)

Tired of This

I can honestly say that i am completely and utterly tired of all this crap. For 18 long years i have been put through this crap, and i may not remember all that has happened through all of these years because i was too young, but i still have some memorys that i dont ever want my kids to have. I have seen, heard, and went through so much that i honestly am beyond sick of it. From my parents there has been so much hurt. and i know im not the only one thats been throught alot i have recently found a friend who has a situation close to mine. I am an adult now and im moving out soon but i still hate for others who are in the situation like mine and im glad i dont have any siblings that would have to go through it too.. I think my mom is about fed up too. This time maybe there will be a divorce and when i was younger that was the last thing that i wanted, i think im the only reason they are still together. Now a divorce seems like an extremely good option. After so many years of misery i think they both need to be happy. Them together is unhealty for all of us. There is too many threats, too many scares, too many fights, and too many tears.

To all the people who have came from a bad situation whether you are a child thats hid and cried in your bedroom while you parents are fighting, or the children that have worried about one parent doing something stupid and not being alive anymore, whether you are a person who has left your spouse that was treating you unfairly and you decided to get out.. i just want to say BE STRONG.

Strength isnt about not crying or not showing that you care about what happened. Strenth is being able to deal with everything and move on FOR THE BETTER

I am moving on for the better in less than a month and i can only hope that my parents will do the same. They have tryed to work it out for years and its not helping, may the best option for ALLof  us come along.

Tonight I pray to God that he be with anyone who needs him there. Who ever that may be. For whatever reason they need him there. May God come in where the devil is forcing his way in.

The Most Important Thing

I Believe The Most Important Thing is....Laughter
A person should have Laughter
If you Really think About it The People who generally make us laugh are the ones we want to spend the more of our time with!
Some People say that laughter can heal many illnesses, that laughter can keep you healthier.
I honestly believe my favorite thing in the world is to laugh.
Even when im sad if someone can get me laughing it makes me feel better.
The people that i love the most are the ones that are able to make me laugh while i am crying.

Is Laughing really that important?
I think so..
but thats just my opinion

Faline

So i have the most awesomest friend ever. Her name is Sherlock Faline Cheytown Holmes. She is one person that i have gotten really close to in the past few months and i love her to death!! I could tell her anything and trust that i wouldnt have to worry about her telling anyone or her usign what i told her to hurt me.. And i just want to thank her for being the best Friend/Sister/vampire-penguin baby daddy ever!!! ILOVEYOUDEAR!!!

What is LOVE?

Love? What is it really? does anyone even know? I don't believe that anyone actually understands anything about love.
Love can make you do strange things
Love can change who you are
Love can save you
it also can kill you
Love is the most confusing thing.

Everyone has there own opinion on love and mine is complex...

Half the people who say they are in love, Are they really?
Fact is probably not.
Love is something that people these days take to lightly,
Love is a strong emotion that influences all your other emotions.

My Favorite Quote about love i found on Pinterest one day.

"Sometimes love is a surprise, an instant of recognition, a sudden gift at a sudden moment that makes everything different from then on. Some people will say thats not love, that you can't really love someone you don't know. But I'm not so sure. Love doesn't seem to follow a plan; It's not a series of steps. It can hit with the force of nature--an earthquake, a tidalwave, a storm of wild, relentless energy that is beyond your simple attempts at control."

Another Quote that i simply love is from Bob Marley.

"You say you love rain, but you use an umbrella to walk under it. You say you love sun, but you seek shade when it is shining. You say you love wind, but when it comes you close your window. So that's why I'm scared when you say you love me"

Basically, I don't know what love really is, but I BELIEVE that LOVE is something that comes from our soul and that love is something that helps form us into the people that we are meant to be..

Lately

So the past few months have been awesome. I found some of the best friends tht i ever could have found, I got rid of the ones who werent really a friend, I graduated high school, i got into a great college, and i found the most amazing boyfriend ever...
All of this has made the last few months amazing..
but lately..
Things are changing. The two people that i consider my best friends i barely talk to anymore, I dont know how i am going to afford college, i have alot of drama going on with my parents, and it seems that i dont think i actually know how my boyfriend feels.. Others tell me what he says but he doesnt act like anything they tell me actually comes from him..

I know i worry too much.. but i can't help it. it comes with the territory