Everything is out of control lately. Somethings in a good way and some in a bad.
lets start off with the bad
School: I hate it. I hate every single thing about school. College life sucks, i would LOVE to be back in high school. My classes are all so annoying. With teachers that either dont teach well or i just dont learn in the methods that they are teaching. My grades are really low. I have NEVER had to work this hard to make Cs i have always been able to make high Bs with out trying and make all As with just a little work. Now i am about to just completely lose my mind because of how hard these classes are. I really just dont understand why i cant learn like i used to, college is real you have to put in forty times the effort that you did in high school and i really wish i would have waited til i learned this to take some of the classes that i am taking because im honestly afraid that i may fail two of my classes, the two classes that i think i may fail are the ones that students who have been in college for a year or are encouraged to take not FRESHMEN! I wish i would have known this when i started filing out my schedule.....
Friends:
I dont have a "best friend" anymore. The people who were my bestfriends in high school i never talk to anymore. I have tryed to keep in touch with the person who i thought would be my bestfriend for the rest of my life but it turns out that i am the only one who wants to keep our friendship. The other friend of mine who has been with me through everything and ive been with them every time they needed me is happy now, they only need me when somethings wrong and since nothings wrong im not needed, but thats okay me and this person have a special friendship and a special bond that i really dont worry about us not being as close as we were or should be... and the other person who was my most recent best friend i really just dont have much to say there.. i dont talk to them much anymore for several reasons, i still love her to death but i just cant allow myself to completely be as close of a friend to her as i was before...
Halloween:
Its my FAVORITE time of the year!!!! i absolutely LOVE halloween!!! the whole month of october i am so excited!! and with it being this season theres the haunted trail!! which is super fun and people get scared and its just awesome!!
Love Life:
Now for the best thing thats going on in my life right now,I have the most amazing boyfriend ever!!!
He is perfect, to me anyways.I have never been in love like i am now. there has never been anyone who has meant this much to me. Everytime i look at him i just get this unexplanable feeling and all i want to do is be next to him, as close as i can get. Last night we had like the most amazing night. There was this moment when we were just looking into each others eyes and there was no need for words it was like he was telling me how much he really loves me with just that look he gave me. I swear this love is the real thing, not like all that fake love in the past. i have never been this happy period. i love him so much. I would never have thought that me and him would get this close, that we would fall in love this deep in the short time that we have been together. I know that i dont ever want to lose him, it makes me want to cry just thinking about not having him be mine or him being in my life anymore. All i want is for him to be happy and i hope, i PRAY that i am making him happy and that he is happy with me. Our relationship is a relationship that i have always wanted and the kind that i will always want. I love him with all of my heart, i love him with everything that i have.
